1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,360 GULLS CRY 2 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,000 GULL SCREAMS 3 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,359 MUSIC: Really Saying Something by Bananarama and Fun Boy Three 4 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,959 - ? I was walking down the street - Doo waddy wah 5 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,279 - ? When this boy started following me - Oh, yeah 6 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,399 ? Oh, I ignored all the things he said 7 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,880 - ? Doo waddy wah - He moved me in every way 8 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:57,479 - ? Really saying something - Saying something 9 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,919 - ? Really saying something - Saying something 10 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:04,440 ? Bop bop shoo be doo wah... ? 11 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,559 What are you doing? 12 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,479 Nothing. 13 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,439 Are you watching him next door? 14 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,359 No! 15 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:19,479 So? You're always spying on him. 16 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,560 BUCKET CLANGS OUTSIDE 17 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,480 Aw, Bev, he's filling buckets AGAIN. Oh... 18 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,959 Right. 19 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,399 Chaffinch. 20 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,839 Says 'ere that they "typically breed between late April and early May, 21 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,159 "with an incubation period around 15 days 22 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,839 "with roughly 11 to 18 fledge days". 23 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,359 - What are you going on about? - Well, that was his excuse, 24 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,959 why he couldn't cut the hedge - chaffinches nesting. 25 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,479 Well, not if they're "typically breeding between late April 26 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:53,439 - "and early May". - You're obsessed, Clive. Just leave him alone. 27 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,160 Anyway, I like him. I think he's funny. 28 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,479 - Funny? - Yeah. Quirky. Interesting. 29 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,080 Not boring. 30 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,880 "Funny"! 31 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,200 Your Majesty. 32 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,040 Ma'am. 33 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,400 Oh, God... 34 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,239 ENGINE STRUGGLES 35 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,080 LOUD BANG 36 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,080 Agh! 37 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,320 VOICES NEARBY 38 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,320 Where's Oscar with the wheelbarrow? 39 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,520 - What's going on? - None of your business. 40 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,640 - Did you steal this van? - Found it. They left the coins. 41 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,919 Well, you can't take them. 42 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,800 Why not? Finders keepers. 43 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,520 There's nothing left. 44 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:37,200 Where do you live? What school do you go to? 45 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,639 - I should call the police. - Piss off, Grandad. 46 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,600 If you do, I'll tell them you showed us your dick. 47 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,760 Get 'em all in. 48 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,599 Yeah, I mean, it was all right, 49 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,679 but I doubt I'll watch any more episodes. It's just... 50 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,599 ..I find I can't believe him in serious roles any more, 51 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,919 not since I saw him crying in his pants 52 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,480 - in "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!". - Right. 53 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,799 Like, I'm sure he plays a really convincing hospice worker, but once 54 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:16,279 you've seen someone chewing down a kangaroo's anus on ITV it's hard to 55 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,520 - suspend your disbelief, innit? - Mm-hm... 56 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,479 - Oh, my God, is that Kaitlin Thorncroft? - Who? 57 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:27,959 - The newsreader. - I've got absolutely no idea. 58 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,120 It is her. Oh, my God. I'm going to go and talk to her. 59 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,879 Hiya! Do you need any help? 60 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,479 Yes, please. I do not know what I'm doing. 61 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:45,879 I've got this pipe spewing water on the patio. I just need to stop it or 62 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:49,280 seal it or something. This came off. It's split. 63 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,240 Let's get you over to the plumbing aisle. 64 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,559 Yeah, so this bit goes on the hose pipe first, and then this bit screws 65 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,959 into that, and that should do it. 66 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,960 That's amazing. Thank you so much. 67 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,279 - What's your name? - Erm... 68 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:11,880 - Kacey. Thank you again, Kacey. - You're welcome. - Bye. 69 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,920 It's nice to meet you... 70 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,920 SHE SOBS 71 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:46,760 Are you all right? 72 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,159 - What happened? - Did you see her? 73 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:56,480 - Yeah. What happened? Why are you upset? - She was just so... 74 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,599 ..I don't know, so friendly... and, oh, my God, just so confident 75 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,799 and successful. And she asked my name, 76 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,679 but then she saw my badge, and it's just... 77 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,239 It's like she's not going back to a shit, damp flat with mould in the 78 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,760 bathroom, is she? 79 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,559 And she even smelled nice! 80 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,559 Is this an official break? Because I don't remember telling anyone... 81 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,359 KACEY SOBS 82 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:21,879 Is she...? 83 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,839 - What? - Crying? 84 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,799 - It looks like it, yes. - What's wrong with her? 85 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,000 SHOUTING: Get out! 86 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,480 Let's get out of here. 87 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:59,520 This cafe's named after the dog that found the World Cup. Pickles. 88 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,999 Are you OK now? 89 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,759 Yeah. 90 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,080 Thanks. Sorry. I don't know what came over me. 91 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,559 So, erm... 92 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,599 - Sorry, what's her name? - Kaitlin Thorncroft. 93 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,559 - Kaitlin Thorncroft. Is she...? - Is she what? 94 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,999 - Well, is she, like, your favourite, or something? - No, I haven't thought 95 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,320 about her twice before in my life. She's just someone off the telly. 96 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,839 But it was... 97 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:36,639 It was like looking through a window into another life. 98 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,879 She had a driver. Did you see? 99 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,520 Not a cabbie. A driver, someone who just, like, drives her around. 100 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:47,319 I don't know, it was just weird, seeing her in real life, 101 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,719 - in the shop. - Yeah. Yeah, I think I get it. 102 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,079 She had a patio. Have you got a patio? 103 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,319 I think so. 104 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,679 I certainly used to have a patio. 105 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,559 I haven't seen it for a while. 106 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:01,120 Imagine having a job you actually gave a fuck about. 107 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,719 So what would you be doing? In an ideal world, 108 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,679 what job would you give a fuck about? 109 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,480 - I know exactly what I'd be doing. - What? 110 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,799 - I'm not telling you. - Why not? - Because it's ridiculous. 111 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,479 - It's impossible. - Well, it isn't, because you thought of it. 112 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,599 - Honestly, it... it's stupid. - Tell me. - No. 113 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,320 I want to be in Neighbours. 114 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,039 - Pardon? Neighbours? - No, see, cos you're going to laugh, and it's... 115 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:34,120 - I... I'm not laughing. Neighbours, the Australian soap opera? - Yes. 116 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,999 - Sorry, you want to be in Neighbours as an actor? - Yes. 117 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,880 - Are you an actor? - No. 118 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:47,959 Mate, you can be in Neighbours. Why not? You just have to, you know, 119 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:51,240 - "believe". Wait a minute, wasn't Neighbours cancelled? - Yes! 120 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,520 Don't worry, we'll bring it back. I'll start a crowd-funder. 121 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,919 What sort of character would you be? Would you be, like, the quirky 122 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,599 - English character that's just... - You don't think I could do Australian? 123 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,999 - Oh, right, you're an Australian character? - Well, yeah, they're all 124 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,839 - Australian in it. - Can you do the accent? 125 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,719 Shut up. I wish I hadn't said anything. 126 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,479 HE LAUGHS 127 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:19,399 Bloody hell, Kace, I think that is fantastic. 128 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,159 I'm going to help you. 129 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,279 I'm just trying to think, have I got any contacts 130 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,559 within the Australian Broadcasting Corporation? 131 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,359 We can figure that out. We will bring back Neighbours, 132 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:32,000 and you will be in it. Oh, yes, you WILL be in it. Cheers. 133 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,720 REALLY annoyed that Gordon saw me cry. 134 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:42,639 - Why? - Because! 135 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:47,759 - He saw a weakness. He'll use it against me. - Crying isn't a weakness. 136 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,399 When was the last time you cried? 137 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,759 I don't cry. It's a weakness. 138 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:55,599 - Seriously, though, you do cry? - No, really, I don't. 139 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,640 Can't remember the last time I cried. 140 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,480 Nah, I bet you sob yourself to sleep every night. 141 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,480 Don't, like... 142 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:12,199 ..tell anyone... about the Neighbours thing, yeah? 143 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,760 - Not even Brigham? - Oh, you better not! 144 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,839 Oh, yeah - you know when you were at the pub last week 145 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,759 - and you were drunk? - Wasn't drunk. 146 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:24,440 Right. Well, you know when we were at the pub for Andre's birthday? 147 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,919 - What is it that you were growing in jars? - Eh? 148 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:32,079 You kept going on about these creatures you were growing in your 149 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:35,599 - shed. Magical Sea-Monkeys or summat. - Did I say that? 150 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,639 - Was that just to you or to everyone? - To everyone. 151 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,560 - Shite! I must have been drunk. - Yeah. 152 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,319 Well, can you see 'em yet, or are they still invisible 153 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,999 - to the naked human eye? - No, they're visible now. 154 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,840 Well, three of 'em. They're about this size. 155 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,320 - And what were they called again? - Homunculi. - Homunculi. 156 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,039 - Can I come and see them, then? - I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. 157 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:04,119 I can't believe I said that in the pub. Ohhh! 158 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,999 - Do you think they'll remember? - I doubt it. They were all leathered. 159 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,559 Can I come and see them? 160 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,439 Reluctant face emoji. 161 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:15,079 Come on. I told you about the Neighbours thing. 162 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,200 Maybe. 163 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:21,080 OK. But you mustn't mention it to ANYONE. 164 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,520 - When? - Weekend, maybe? 165 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,879 Michael! Mike! 166 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,220 How's your homunculi? 167 00:12:29,221 --> 00:12:30,559 HE GIGGLES 168 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:32,920 Oh, bloody hell! 169 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,720 He's not answering his phone. ..Here he is. This is him. 170 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,719 Michael Sleep? 171 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,559 Er, yeah... 172 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,919 Did you witness a robbery this morning? 173 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:48,719 No. I don't think so. 174 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,239 A security van? 175 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,439 Oh, yeah. God! Yes. Sorry, yes, I did. 176 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,679 Er, some kids were robbing the coins. Little... 177 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,399 MICHAEL CHUCKLES 178 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,040 Can we have a word? 179 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:09,039 - How many kids? - Er, four. Or five. 180 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,400 Or six. One of them had a wheelbarrow. 181 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,839 - And why didn't you report it? - I was going to, 182 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,999 but then I heard your sirens coming, so... 183 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,519 As a witness to a crime, do you not think you should have stayed 184 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:21,919 and reported what you saw? 185 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,520 They said they were going to tell you that I'd exposed myself. 186 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:30,399 - Why did you expose yourself? - No, I didn't. 187 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,519 But that's what they said they were going to say, and I didn't want to 188 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,479 stick around and be accused of it. Sorry, what... 189 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,160 ..what are you writing? 190 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,639 "Constable Sergeant." 191 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,000 - Hmm? - Nothing. 192 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,639 - Did you see which way they went? - Not really. 193 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,719 Do you think you could recognise any of them again? 194 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:57,079 It's unlikely. They were kids. They were just grubby kids. 195 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,480 Oh, one of them had jam on its face. 196 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,919 What kind? 197 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,640 - Of jam? - Yes. 198 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,519 Apricot. 199 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,200 That's just a guess. 200 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,440 He's coming now. 201 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,560 What are you doing? What are you doing? Get back to work! 202 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,159 Michael, do you mind telling me what the hell's going on? 203 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,199 I saw some kids robbing a van on the way to work. That's it, Gordon. 204 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,360 PHONE RINGS 205 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,359 I can't have police officers 206 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,679 marching in here, questioning my staff. How do you think that looks? 207 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:34,960 Hello, Hilary? 208 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,759 - Yes, I'll be right there. - No. 209 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,439 Ah, t-t-t-t-t... 210 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,799 Yes, I'm on my way. OK. 211 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,400 I've got to go. Me dad's had a fall at the home. 212 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,799 I didn't "have a fall". I tripped over the effing cat. 213 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,919 - Is that not having a fall? - No. It's entirely different. 214 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,039 A "fall" is what old people do when they can't be arsed 215 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,599 to concentrate on standing up properly. 216 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,239 Number one, I'm not old enough to have a fall. 217 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,679 You're pushing 90, Dad. 218 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,559 Number two, I tripped over an effing cat! 219 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,640 HE MOUTHS 220 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,519 Well, we'll get the doctor to check you over, 221 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,279 make sure you haven't fractured anything. 222 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,799 Can you leave us alone, please? I need to talk to my son. 223 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:20,679 - Hey, Dad, don't be rude to Hilary. - Well, I said "please", didn't I? 224 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,359 - In a rude way, yes. - It's all right. 225 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,080 - Do you want a cuppa? - I'm all right. Thanks, Hilary. 226 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:33,639 So... how's it going? Are they growing? 227 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,999 - Are you sure you're all right, Dad? - Yes. The prophets. 228 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,280 You said you've seen them. Are they moving? Are they eating? 229 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,559 I can see three. The other jars are empty, as far as I can tell. 230 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,919 - Which three? - Well, I think one of them is the king. He's got a crown. 231 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,159 Yeah, good, that's right. And the others? 232 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,319 Maybe a queen, maybe a... an angel. 233 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,079 That'll be the seraph, yeah. You've got to keep on top of 234 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,719 the water changes and the feeding. 235 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,879 And continue to chant. It makes them strong. 236 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,679 Dad, what are they? They look like people trapped in jars. 237 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,679 What am I doing? Should I even be doing this? 238 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,719 No, no, you mustn't anthropomorphise them. They're not people. 239 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:17,919 They're not even physical half the time. They're supernatural. 240 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,199 They don't abide by the laws of nature. They have a different set of 241 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,919 rules which we're not even close to understanding. 242 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:27,479 Then how do I know how to look after them? I mean, they look as though 243 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,879 they're in pain. They look like they're suffering. 244 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,039 Well, there you go again, anthropomorphising! 245 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,879 They exist in a different realm. They want to tell the truth, 246 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,079 they need to tell the truth, so you keep them fulfilled 247 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,919 by asking them the questions you need to know. 248 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,479 It says in the book they have to be buried in horse manure 249 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,879 until they reach the State of Divination. 250 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:52,119 Oh, yeah. Yeah, venter equinus. Bowels of the horse, yes. 251 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:55,439 - But I think any farmyard manure will probably do the trick. - Right. 252 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:58,239 It's to keep them warm? Can't I just whack the heating up? 253 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:01,319 No, no, no. Trust the recipe, son, it's all there. 254 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,239 It's as much to do with decomposition, the breaking down of 255 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:08,680 living material to transfer life and vitality to the prophets. 256 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,399 HE SIGHS 257 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,239 I'll, erm... I'll pop back later. 258 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,319 I am sorry about him being snappy with you. 259 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,799 Bloody hell, that's nothing, love. You should hear some of the names 260 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,679 - I get called. Is he OK? - Yes. He's just a bit confused. 261 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:26,639 - I'll pop back later. - Hey, did he tell you he had a visitor earlier? 262 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,119 - Dad did? - Yeah. Was it your brother-in-law? 263 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,479 Roy? Clea's brother? He came here? 264 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,039 Oh, that's all right, is it? Your dad seemed to recognise him. 265 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,399 Yes, it's... it's fine. Do you know what he wanted? 266 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,719 Well, he said he was just passing, wanted to say hello. 267 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,760 Fine. Cool. Thanks. 268 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,919 Roy, it's Michael. I don't want you visiting my dad. 269 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,519 I don't know what you want from him, but practical strangers turning up 270 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:57,519 just confuses him, and, you know, he has his routines. 271 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,839 Please don't visit him without me there or without telling me first. 272 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,480 It confuses him. 273 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,280 Bye. 274 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,840 Hello, Michael. 275 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,159 Hello... 276 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,079 It's funny, er... Don't know if you remember you saying you... 277 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,319 Remember you said you couldn't cut your hedge because 278 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,719 there were... birds nesting? Chaffinches, I think you said. 279 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,079 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, well, I was just, erm... 280 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,359 ..having a look at this bird book, and it's, er... 281 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:33,600 I just noticed that it said that... that they nest in, er, springtime. 282 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,040 - Really? - Yeah. 283 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,720 Apparently, all... all garden birds do, so... Yeah. 284 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,080 That's when they... 285 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,160 That's when they nest, so... 286 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,720 Terrifying. 287 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,640 What is? 288 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,640 Climate change. 289 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,280 - Hello, Michael! - Bev. 290 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:05,960 Cheerio. 291 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,960 MUSIC: Bright Eyes by Art Garfunkel 292 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:27,559 ? Is it a kind of dream 293 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,100 ? Floating out on the tide 294 00:19:30,101 --> 00:19:32,640 PHONE RINGS 295 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:39,119 ? Following the river of death downstream? 296 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:42,519 ? Oh, is it a dream? ? 297 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,559 Michael, it's Roy. Give us a ring back when you get this message. 298 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:49,319 Listen, mate, it wasn't me that came to visit your dad at the home. 299 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,639 I don't know who it was, but it wasn't me. 300 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:56,039 So you need to find out who's saying they're me and... 301 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,519 ..what it is that they want from your dad. 302 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,400 Give us a ring back, yeah? Cheers. Bye. 303 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,559 Hello! It's Roy, isn't it? 304 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:19,239 - Yeah. Hello. - I'm Bea. I was a friend of your sister Clea. 305 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,719 - I-I think we met once, a long time ago. - Oh. OK. 306 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,839 Yeah, I worked with Clea for a while. We did the antiques stalls 307 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,239 - together. - I remember. Second-hand books, wasn't it? 308 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,439 - Do you hear from her? - Er, no. She, erm... 309 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,800 I mean, she... You know. 310 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,559 - She went missing. - Yeah, of course. 311 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:39,199 Yeah, I was just... wondering if anything had changed. 312 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,400 - What's your name again? - Bea. Beatrice. 313 00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:47,040 - Do you want to... get a coffee or something? - Yeah, OK. 314 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,999 What's it been, five years since she went? 315 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,479 - Nearly seven. - Oh, wow, is it that long? 316 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,679 - Yeah, I guess it is. - You still doing the antiques place? 317 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,280 Oh, no, that place closed down a long time ago now. 318 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,759 God, do you know what? I've just remembered that Clea used to rent 319 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,640 a storage unit to keep some of the extra stock in. 320 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:18,199 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. I wonder what happened to it. 321 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,759 - I don't think there was much in it by the end, but... - Yeah, 322 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,879 I don't know. You'd have to ask her partner. 323 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,519 He kept everything as it was. He still thinks she's going to 324 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,800 walk through the front door one of these days. 325 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,840 It must have been so hard for... 326 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,039 Oh, God. SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 327 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,440 I've forgotten his name. Erm... 328 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,839 - Hamish. - Of course, Hamish. 329 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:45,119 Poor Hamish. Do you have his number? Is he still at the same place? 330 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:48,200 Why don't you give me your number? I'll get him to give you a ring. 331 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,159 SHE HUMS HAPPILY 332 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,160 CHAIR BANGS 333 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:02,239 - Morning, Olive! - Morning, Michael! You well? 334 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:06,199 Er, yeah, yeah. I'm... I'm very good, thank you, Olive. 335 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,999 What ARE you up to? That looks like hard work. 336 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,599 Yep. I've decided it's time to go for the fake grass. 337 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:16,319 - Fake grass? - Yep, the old Astroturf. 338 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,240 I swore I wouldn't, but needs must. 339 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:24,439 - Are you sure that's not carpet, Olive? - Carpet? No. 340 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,759 Because it looks like it's got a pattern from here. 341 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,279 - Has it? - Where did you get it from? 342 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,919 A fella came to the door. He had it in a van. 343 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,839 Let's have a look. 344 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,280 Hmm... 345 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:52,639 Sorry, Olive, that is definitely deep-pile carpet. 346 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,239 Ah, fucking hell! 347 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,399 - How much did you pay for it? - I'm not telling you. 348 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,360 It looks like it's acrylic, so you never know, it might last a while. 349 00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:07,279 - At least it's green. - Exactly. At least it's green. 350 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,280 And... I quite like the paisley. 351 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,000 Hiya! 352 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,440 Hello. 353 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,599 - What are you doing here? - I'm good, thanks. How are you? 354 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,159 Sorry. I... I wasn't expecting you. 355 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,919 Well, I've come to see your Sea-Monkeys. 356 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,080 - It isn't really convenient. - Come on, mate, you said. 357 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,560 All right. Quick, come in. 358 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,039 Mind the, er, brambles and the nettles. 359 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,920 - And the barbed wire. - And the barbed wire. 360 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,879 Hang on. 361 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,279 They don't like it too bright. 362 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,119 Right... 363 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,519 It's like an opium den in here. 364 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:21,240 - Or a brothel. - Don't touch anything. - I wasn't going to! 365 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,199 Are you ready? 366 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,919 Ready? I don't know. Should I be scared or summat? 367 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:35,759 No! Definitely not. They can sense fear. It makes them freak out. 368 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,000 OK... 369 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,039 What am I looking for? 370 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,280 Tap on the glass gently. 371 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,480 Hey, that's cool. How do you get it to do that? 372 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,680 SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 373 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,039 SHOUTING: What the fuck! What the fuck is that?! 374 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:18,119 Shush! Don't shout, you're stressing him out! Please! 375 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,440 I am so sorry. 376 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:22,679 Kacey! 377 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,839 - TV: - And they need to get this squeaky clean. 378 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,439 - They don't want to be over a barrel! - Keep your voice down! 379 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,679 Michael, seriously, what the fuck was that?! 380 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,119 I told you, a homunculus. That was the king one. 381 00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:36,519 You've completely terrified him. 382 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:40,200 - Oh, I'VE terrified HIM? - Hello, Bev! 383 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:50,879 Are the others... 384 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:54,920 - ..like that? - Yeah. They're all different but, yeah, similar. 385 00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,679 OK. 386 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,919 OK, now I know what to expect... 387 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,639 Seriously, though, if you yell again like that... 388 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,120 I won't. Shut up. I'm ready. Now I'm ready. 389 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,800 KACEY GASPS 390 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,439 Oh, my God. I don't know 391 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,800 what I'm looking at. 392 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,039 - Can they see me? - I don't think so. 393 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,200 I think they just sense that you're there. 394 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,519 Are they all right? 395 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,240 They look fucked. 396 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,079 Are they, like, people? 397 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,560 No. They're prophesying spirits. 398 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,640 This is mental. 399 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,639 - And you can ask them questions about the future? - About anything, 400 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,119 once they reach a certain size. 401 00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:13,639 And they will always answer with the truth. 402 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,360 - How does that work, then? - I don't know. 403 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,280 What are you going to ask them? 404 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,160 If Clea's ever going to come back. 405 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,040 What if they say no? 406 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,560 I'll ask if she loved me. 407 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,480 I just need to know... if I can move on. 408 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,960 Can I ask 'em summat? 409 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,200 If you'll ever be in Neighbours? 410 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,200 What if they say no? 411 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:56,720 Well, then, I can stop hoping. 412 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,400 BEV GASPS 413 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:27,119 Are you hearing this? I don't know who the hell she is. 414 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,239 And have you seen that oil slick out there? 415 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,959 - VOICE ECHOES: - And he's the one who claims to be concerned about 416 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,399 wildlife. There'll be albatrosses flapping about in that 417 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,519 by the end of next week, because you know as well I do 418 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,120 he won't be cleaning it up. 419 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:05,879 ? I know we're older now 420 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,520 ? And lost again 421 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:16,279 ? Down at the cul-de-sac 422 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:19,320 ? You left, my friend 423 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,959 ? I put the kettle on 424 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,680 ? The wise man's song for you... ? 425 00:29:27,730 --> 00:29:32,280 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0